Day Three

Raj showed up late for work the day after the long weekend, wearing Friday’s shirt, wrinkled and sweat-stained, his face lined and unshaven.  When he got his to cubicle, he almost fell into his chair face-first.

“Nice weekend, Raj?” asked Debbie, his cellmate.

“Ugh,” Raj replied.

“You left a sticky on your monitor on Friday, so I moved it to your keyboard,” Debbie said, munching on Honey Nut Cheerios with reckless abandon.  “Don’t want gluey stuff getting into your screen, right?”

Raj checked the sticky: ‘Get hot dogs!!!’  He threw it away and rested his head on the desk.

“How was the party?” Debbie asked, oblivious.

“Long,” Raj groaned.  “We got home about four hours ago.  Car broke down on the highway.  Overheated… something.”

“Oh,” nodded Debbie seriously.  “If you want to call in sick, I’m sure Reggie won’t mind.”

“He’ll mind,” Raj said.  “Just… give me twenty minutes to power nap so I can see straight.”

“Aubrey!” boomed a voice from behind, as Reggie straddled the entrance to the cubicle.  His tie was too short, accentuating his gut.  The only thing that saved him was that the colours clashed so badly it was almost blinding.

“Hey Reggie,” Debbie said enthusiastically.

“What’s up, Aubrey?” said Reggie, completely ignoring Debbie.  “How are we on the deadline?  Running late again?  I didn’t see you in this weekend!”

“Did you see yourself in this weekend?” Raj grumbled.

“I’m a manager, Aubrey,” Reggie said, as if the logic was implied.

“So you say.”

Reggie crossed his arms, puffed his chest.

“Team meeting in ten,” he said, like he was sentencing a man to death.  “You present first.”

Raj met Reggie’s eyes, narrow and evil like a demonic badger in tacky clothes.

“We’re not ready to present,” he said.  “Should we maybe save the meetings until the project’s done?”

“No time like the present!” Reggie laughed, and waddled away the conquering hero of his own personal Roman Triumph.  Debbie started gathering papers off his desk, trying to sort them in a rush.  Raj didn’t bother moving.

“I can’t wait till I can quit this job,” he said, half to himself.

“What’ll you do?” Debbie asked, fighting with a paperclip.

“iPhone apps, Debbie.  That’s what’s hot.  Taking over the world, one download at a time.  I’d ask you to come with me, but I know how much you love it here.”

“They give us free donuts,” Debbie nodded.

“Yeah,” Raj sighed.  “That they do.”

The donuts were little consolation when, five minutes into the presentation, Reggie interrupted with a bellowing: “Hold on!  This code isn’t done yet, is it?” and then tossed a wad of papers across the table towards Raj.

If Mary from QA hadn’t come back from the washroom when she did, someone might have lost an eye.

Raj made it through the rest of the day on repressed fury alone.